I remember the last day I spent with you. You were in the other room, breaking down the doors, screaming about how I was such an evil . I don't even know why, because I always tried to treat you well. I was faithful. I gave you foot massages. Well, that last day, I was crying on the floor. Bashing my head in. I was dying. As I was crying on the floor, I thought to myself, "I can either stay here & die because of you. Or I can leave. & If I die, at least it will because of me..." & Somehow I mustered the strength to stand, to look you in the eye & tell you I hated you, & that I wasn't coming back. Somehow [I still don't fucking know] I managed to leave, & to keep on going.

I RELEASE YOU. Run wild, run free... It has taken me long enough to be able to do this... But I release you. I release you so you can no longer hold power over me. I release you so you can be free. I release you so I can be free. I will allow myself to cry, to feel, to remember... But I release you from my desire, my idealism. I will never know you again. I release you because i love you and no point holding backs to the memories.

I will remember you both well & badly. I will remember you accurately, no matter how much it hurts. You have forever changed me. You have made me more free to live in the moment. You have made me more free to live on the edge. In fact, I don't even feel right unless I am on the edge. You have made me dangerous & impulsive & crazy  all at once. You have made my soul older & sadder. I will never fear Death again.

I cannot change the past. You left permanent scars on me. So for that, I will extract every ounce of "good crazy" I fucking can from the experience, & smile every time I remember the pain. You have wholly fucked me over. I know I must have done the same to you.




Just hold on the PATH that you've choose.

& so, ex lover, this is my last goodbye to you, as I kiss your shadow good night...

All alone

No one knows the day or the time. No one knows the when or where. One thing is for sure, when it does happen, you should be prepared to explain what you did in your short lifetime. I sometimes hear the whispers in the wind. I often see the images in the clouds. I often feel the power in the shallows. I love it when I can get some quiet time to myself. All I hear is the wind blowing, waves crashing and a few hints of birds in the distance.

I've noticed that birds don't make much noise at dawn. I think they are basking in the solitude of the moment. The next time you are able to go to the beach take a moment to close your eyes and experience the smells and sounds around you. Then open your eyes and take in all that you can. I will follow you until the edges of the earth.

Love
Yunnai

yet the MISSING PUZZLE is Y.O.U!! :(

AZS- I always remember Y.O.U
in special WAY!

some puzzle from 2011